Let's not talk about love.

We all know love, we met him. that wonderful, sick, idiotic and beautiful bastard. But that all comes after.

We all have baggage, so i guess after we meet the ugly face of love we all have different approaches to when me meet him again. I'm grateful that i have so many friends with different opinions.

The poke and run

The poker just gives you a little indication of interest and then.. nothing. He runs until the end of earth. just to realize that he is still alive, comes back, and...poke again!

The cannon

Know those people that just go for it? They try not to give you a chance to run away, or to not let them really thing about what they are doing. Either way, unless you see the cannon coming, it's going to hit you. hard!

The Sloth

Ah the sloth! the animal that lives on the trees and comes down once a week to pee! that pretty much sums it up, the are slow movers, opportunities pass them by and they live a long happy live not taking any chances and just waiting for their time to pee. As they get older, the sloth often becomes a cynical animal, bitter to their core. they are the old mans that scream to children "Stay out of my lawn!!" 

The Deer

The deer is close to my heart, this is when you want to do it, but you are so carefully moving in that direction, that if the other person does something, even a little bit wrong.. "warp speed Mr. Spok, wooosh!" and you never saw him again. They are runners, the good news is that, sometimes they come back, but it almost never works for the dears.

The Pillow

After you have been in a relationship, sometimes you just need somebody. It's hard to just be with yourself. this is what the pillow wants. somebody, anybody, to be there in the night, to hold you and tell you that it will be ok, they need that because they don't believe in themselves. It's never love is convenience.

The Collector 

We all meet this one, trying to fill the album to prove that they still got it. funny thing, they lost it. they lost the ability to appreciate the real person, they just see something that they still don't have. Lets hope that all collectors are just going trough a.. hum.. faze. 

The Braveheart

Love the braveheart! girls, i just know girls that are the like this, guys are to busy collecting.. the braveheart has been hurt badly, but it just gets stronger, taking chances, even when they shouldn't. They know how precious love is, and if they think they found it, they will free Scotland to get it and take no prisoners! phi!

The Misconception

Oh the poor babies.. they go for the unattainable seeking the reinforcing that they are not good enough. They always go for the gay, in a relationship or just not that into you. If it's wrong for them, that's what they want!

The invisible man/woman

The closet stalkers, they know all about your life, and you don't even remember seeing them. they are too scared of ruining the image that they built in their mind, so they chose that long distance approach. Yeah, because that will get you somewhere... 

The "Normal"

If i find one, i will write about it..

The beautiful sister of Stupidity

    What about that heavy, oh so heavy, thing that is always in your way? How about fear?

Time is relative, it changes according to our perception. Fear is the same thing, as soon as you acknowledge it the weight changes, some times knowing that you are afraid makes it unbearably heavy. Other times it sets you free. "Fear is a misunderstood friend"

    If there was no fear, how could you know when you you are on the verge of something important? If there was no fear how could you be brave? Bravery could easily be the most beautiful human behavior. It is the nice looking sister of stupidity. Such a thin line between them..

    Bravery, is the presence of courage in face of fear. Stupidity is a lack of intelligence, if you insist in your intent of acknowledging fear, you can either succeed, resulting in bravery, or you can crash and burn, labeling it as stupidity. Stupidity is a consequence, a subjective labeling. Never an intent and never a consensual conclusion. 

    Bravery is the most wonderful thing to see, is the perfect balance between hope and resignation. Poetry trough actions. Love brave people, for they will live a much fuller life then the uninteresting play-it-safers. 

Try to be brave. Don't run from pain, don't run from love, all of that is life. Trough pain you understand yourself, trough love you understand the world. Never regret being brave.

I call on you to be Brave, for i cannot be Brave for you. 

...But i promise, i will be brave with you.

Gems

We are all broken.

I think we are born hole, and every time you fall you break a little. You lose a bit of yourself every time you fall. Somehow the more we learn the less we are.

If this is true, how come that old people are still people after they have been broken so many times?

Maybe we don't get broken, maybe we just get a little sharper, so when we are almost done falling we are like gems, perfectly cut gems. And we finally have all the right angles. Maybe getting broken hurts more when we are young because there is just so much more to fix, and every time we fall the piece we lose is just so big that we need to relearn how to live with less of us.

Maybe that's the secret, we keep getting hurt with what we lost but in reality we are just getting smaller and much more perfect then what we were.

Why do we miss our imperfections?

Do you think we can pick up some pieces? Do you think that every time we refuse to learn a lesson, we gain a little piece? is that why we regret the lessons that we didn't learn? Is every piece we pick up poisoned with bitterness?

Just let it go, let it all go. You will be bigger with less then you ever were with a lot.

Blues Clues_0

    I never liked those shows that make a point of interacting with small children, "can you say this, point to that help, me with this".

    As a child i thought: "man this is so stupid, if you can't find it by yourself why did they gave you the job!?" Even sesame street, favorite character? Oscar! He kept things real, he was the only one that gave some depth to the show, all the other were high on happiness and he was so honest, he said out loud what the others were thinking but were forced by the happiness union to keep their mouths shut. 

    This is why i grew up to be a clueless human being, swear to god, i will tie my children to a chair and force them to point, find, scream and do whatever the incompetent show host asks of them. Today we can all see the different layers of meaning in ones actions, All? hem.. some of us need more help then others. Typical conversation with my friends:

Me: Oh! you know he asked me to go to his house and see his book collection?

Friend: book collection?

Me: yeah, i mean he knows i love books so i'm going there, to check it out.

Friend: Really!? Of course he does! I will bet you 100.000€ that he doesn't even own a book.. just for fun...

    And then a nice 15min description of his real intentions, just in case i didn't got the irony.

  I'm in constant need of translation of normal conversations, i want a coll gadget that listens to my conversations and after tells me what people meant. Much more likely to get one of those then to get people to tell what they really mean.

    I guess i could try harder, but i prefer to live in blissfulness ignorance. I choose to believe that they mean what they say, sure that just leads to more disappointing situations, but isn't it better to be disappointed some times then live with the permanent knowledge of a lie? 

"Long walk for a short glass of water"  I love you Oscar

The 20sec. challenge

Me and this friend of mine, are pretty much crazy.

She is like Fire, i would like to be like fire, but i'm much more like water, i will always find a way wile i do my best to keep my serenity, she burns it all, that girl really is on fire, she says she's hyperactive, but we know better.

We need an outlet to our permanent fear of stillness, so last time, we had a challenge. 

We are cowards, this is the ugly truth, we keep doing strange things because we are comfortable with who we are, but when it comes to depending, and trusting, let's just say that we have been burn before, so it does not come easily for neither of us. 

So for the first time, we had a real challenge, we had to man up, and be brave for 20 sec. just 20 sec. a lesson i try to keep in mind is that the real lesson in life is not that if you try you might fail, is if you try you might fly, i am a forced optimist, because it's a hell of a lot better then the alternative.

I won't tell what was the challenge, but she made me proud, and actually hopeful that when the time comes, i might be brave as she was. i however failed miserably. 

"I came give my report about my side of the 20sec deal.

I didn't do it. true true there was a bit of lack of courage, i admit, a little part of me chickened out.. like a little pussy 
BUT! HOWEVER! IN SPITE OF!!  justification here we go! I realized that, i don't want nothing. i am ok with this, i like friends and i'm pulling "out". i'm going to be unattached, because.. i don't feel like more, i feel like a potato a round, unshaped vegetable that should stick to what it knows better which is to lie still. HAHAHAHA i'm a awkward potato!! i'm THE awkward potato! so.. today, i'm a potato.
So this is the summary of the 20sec challenge:
Today you will bask on the warmth of love, and i will be a vegetable with no eyes.

good quality challenge"

So this happened... and now, we both move on!

The potato.

I found myself on this web site the other day "www.sixbillionsecrets.com", it was one of those days where you find yourself on the weird part of the internet and have no idea how you got there.. still
The point of the site is to give a chance of people to write, anonymously their secrets  and hopefully get some help (pretty weird stuff is going down with some people, you are there and just want to hug them all..).
So this girl had a secret that was that she was not confortable in her own skin or some other hormonal thing. and she said "i was just sitting there, feeling like i didn't belong. I was the weird potato" in the midst of her hormonal sadness she somehow found humor.

"A person without a sense of humor is like a wagon without springs. It's jolted by every pebble on the road. "
Henry Ward Beecher

and 

"You can turn painful situations around through laughter. If you can find humor in anything, even poverty, you can survive it. "
Bill Cosby

So we will be laughing all the way trough, because it's the only way we know that we will survive.

Day 1 on this planet. they still think i'm a real person.

A journal, that's it.
A public journal, it will be nice and private, on the WEB! ha..
My life would be such a crazy book, but it might be a good enough blog. So hang on to your socks. I will make it worth your while.