Thank God i'm hilarious!

One year ago i was given a opportunity to rediscover who i was. It was truly a full circle journey. For which, Now, i am thankful. 

I started with losing everything that i thought defined me, i questioned every part of who i was and every choice i had ever made. 

Then i thought nothing. I had to work, thank God i had to work. I defined myself trough my work, i worked like a maniac.

Old habits that i thought were long gone revisited me. I wasn't so happy to see them, but then again, when you are nothing, familiar things remind you of who you used to be. Just like an old sweater.

I started to run. I ran from anything that was familiar. I ran from all the choices i had made. I though  they were responsible for what i was going trough. Sadly i ran in to some weird people, and strange situations. It was another lesson. So much better alone then this alternative. A friend of mine said "if that was your first mistake, then it wasn't a mistake". Sometimes, if you are lucky, you run into some amazing people.

Full circle.

I am a better, well, stronger and hopefully wiser version of my previous self for some time now. I'm grateful for all the amazing people i have found along the way. I made friends whose memory i will always carry with me. I am still redefining my choices. There is no rush. It is all about the journey not the destination.

"Never invest so much in a relationship, that if it ends, it will leave you emotionally bankrupt"

Two things. I was emotionally bankrupt, such a big part of my happiness was the other person happiness that i guess, after it all, i just hadn't enough things to make me happy inside myself. Can you really learn to love less? if you think is forever can you really stop yourself from "investing" in your relationship? I think, that you should reach a point where you need to be "all in". No? Loving with everything that you are isn't an "all in" perspective? shouldn't it be? I don't know. I think i learned my lesson, one i hope i will never forget. Be proud of your choices. If given the choice to go back, i should change somethings, i'm sure i had my big share of  the responsibility  but i wouldn't. I wouldn't change a thing. I did what felt right, and because of that, i can live with myself. Proud Mary. Maybe the lesson is not quite assimilated.. 

Well in the end, i'm the only person i'm 100% sure i will spend my entire life with, so i'm making myself happy. Thank God i'm hilarious!..